Relationships… They are work… They are joyous and painful. They are an ever-evolving journey that we take through life.
I have written on marriage before. I have voiced my opinions are the importance of communication and respect. I would be lying if I said my marriage was perfect. It is not. It is something we work on. We continue to work on. Because we love each other. And we want it to work. We want to work for it. That is not to say that some days I don’t. That I wonder why we have to try. I want to be an honest writer. I also want to respect my husbands wishes in keeping this blog about me and not publicizing too much of our personal life… That’s a hard line to draw. Although, I do believe only a few of my loved ones read this. Ha ha!
Needless to say, Jordon and I are working hard right now. It seems we go through cycles. We do so well. Everything is great, and then all of a sudden its not. I have thought about it and thought about it. I think we forget to keep talking. We get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget to talk. You run and run to get things done and then, when Kaylee is in bed, the chores are done and we are finally sitting down for supper, its 8pm and supper winds up being in front of the tv just so we can relax.
I do this. I worry about having my house look good and stop asking how my husband’s day was. And he is walking in the door to try and help me finish up the chores I have been working on, so he doesn’t feel guilty about not helping with house work, that he then forgets to ask how my day was.
I put that pressure on us in our house. I feel like I wear so many hats in a day. My work hat, my Mom hat,my housekeeper hat and sometimes my wife hat leaves a little to be desired. I know Jordon would say that same about his Hubby hat. He works incredibly hard in a day. He is successful because of his drive to succeed and keep everyone happy. He also endures an immense amount of pressure and stress in a day. Jordon is a hyper guy, and stress management is not his strength. So, I can only imagine coming home to see me running around the house like a chicken with its head cut off only adds to his stress.
I often resent him for all I have to do in a day. Which isn’t really a fair thing to do. The reality is, he cannot help me with chores when he is at work. So I cannot fault him for this. Writing it down makes perfectly logical sense. But on a Tuesday evening, with a cranky tired toddler, supper cooking, dogs rambunctious and a list of chores still waiting to be checked off a list… He is an easy out.
I need to put more effort on a day to day basis into two things. #1 -Myself. If I do more for myself, I will be happier, which will reflect on my everyday life with my family. I want to get back to the gym. Today is going to be day 1. I kind of threw in the towel this summer. In the spring, I had a great routine down. It is time to get back to that. Doing that for myself will help me feel better about myself and also let me feel like I am taking an hour a day for me.
Supper- Garden salad, garlic bread and brushetta, half a
baked potato and a grilled steak...
With a side of sunshine (White wine and OJ) Yum!
#2. My marriage. I need to give Jordon my honest effort. I need to talk to him in a day. I want to know what his day was like. I want to know how he is feeling. So, new rule…. No more supper in front of the tv. I don’t know when or how we started that. We never did that until the last 6 months or so. So, unless it’s a Friday night and we have ordered a pizza, its supper at the dinner table. No tv.
We came to a head last week where we were both starring at each other. Neither knowing what each other expected and both looking for answers. Jordon suggested we write something down. Our expectations of each other. Have some sort of guide. Know where we stand. I am not great at vocalizing my feelings. I can write about them for days, but talking about them… I falter over my words. I get so caught up in the emotion I feel, I tend to get angry or shut down. So, just by Jordon bringing up writing it down, felt like a step in the right direction. He recognized one of my downfalls and wanted to work in a way that is easier for me. That felt good.
Now, onto the next topic of conversation. Related but not. If you know what I mean.
I know Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. I haven’t read the book, however I think I have learned enough through life to know that this rings true. I recently acquired a new friend. Someone who understood this concept in the same light as me. Someone unexpected and a little bit awesome.
We met when we were teenagers. I think to have called us friends at that point in our life is a stretch. We went to a few of the same parties and I was dating her friend (Jordon).Needless the say, 10-12 years later, we are still Facebook friends. Not too long ago, we began Facebook chatting. Our small simple conversation evolved and suddenly I was confiding in her as she was in me. We talk about our children, our men and how to tackle it all. Some things I have never shared- my insecurities, my weaknesses, the things I am unsure about in life… I suddenly was sharing with this woman who is virtually a stranger. And while she may virtually be a stranger, she has become a great friend.
Playing cinderella and making a mess in
So… To lighten the mood a little here… Do men have some sort of handbook on gift giving? Like how to purchase the thing that will most leave your woman scratching her head? I love my husband dearly. However if I receive one more gift that is related to the food I cook him, I may beat him with it.
Christmas, new pots, pans, bakeware and Rubbermaid glassware. Now they are the best pots on the market and I truly needed to bakeware. I love them all…… But…..
2 year anniversary, a gorgeous new BBQ. It was what we needed. I wanted one! There is no doubt in my mind that he made a practical decision…..But…..
I was chatting about these lovely gifts with my newfound friend. She said “Oh I got that beat!”. It was her two year anniversary and she was crossing fingers and toes that he would ‘put a ring on it’. He surprised her with… Drumroll please…………….A custom made Crokenol board.
If your thinking, what the heck is that, your not alone. I still don’t know. But from what I gathered, it’s a board game of sorts…. I am sure he meant well. But………
I mean really guys? Someone needs to write a book listing all the things your wife/girlfriend/partner would love to receive and all the things you should under no circumstances get her.
Men really are from Mars. They are on such a different spectrum then us 80% of the time!
What is the worst gift your guy (or gal) has surprised you with?
Let me know, I would love to hear what you have to say!
Thanks for stopping by the Blog! Have a great day!