Monday, July 29, 2013

Communication and Dirty Floors...

Okay people... Dirty little secret... I suck at communication...I can hear you all laughing now... For anyone that knows me, they know I talk.. A lot... I am not shy and I have no problem keeping up my end of a conversation. So what the heck am I talking about?
When it comes down to something or anything serious, emotional or confrontation, I tend to do a few things. I get my back up- I either stop talking or start yelling,and I say things I don't mean. If there is a fight, I feel as if I stumble over my words. I do not think or filter before I speak. This tends to not work out in my favor.
Friday Kaylee spent the day with her cousins.
All 3 of them were tuckered out by the end of the day!
So when the world of text messaging was introduced to me, it made communicating easier for me. I could type something, read it and think about it before impulsively saying it. Strange as it may sound, it helped me.

I remember when I was a little girl. I used to write letters. When I would fight with my Mom, my best friend or boyfriend for that matter. Putting a pen to paper was an outlet for me. I loved to write. I felt as if I could write ten times better then I could speak. 


 Saturday Morning Fishing

 I still feel this way. Ask me to write a professional email, a letter of complaint, or a personal letter, and I believe I would come across as a very well written and well spoken individual. Ask me to speak, and my emotions get ahead of me and I make a cluster **** of words and feel like a fool. That is just the honest truth.

Whenever Jordon and I have a disagreement I tend to shut down and wait to have a text message banter. It drives him crazy. It irritates him to no end but he banters with me when I need it. I don't want to stand and argue while looking at him. It's hard. That makes me weak right? I can't even face people when I need to confront them or discuss something that may not end up being a favorable conversation...Anyway, this one of my weaknesses. I am aware of it. 

The last few weeks, I have had a lot on my plate. With work, home, a toddler and a relationship to juggle, I feel overwhelmed. Like there is not enough possible time in the day. Saturday everything came to a head. Jordon had had enough of me and I of him. And then it happened... We talked... Like really talked... Said things, maybe neither of us even realized we felt. It was raw. It was real. 

At the end, I think we both walked away with a lot to think about. Jordon decided to plan a fishing trip for him and I on Sunday. We packed a cooler, called the babysitter and planned to make a morning of it. Head out on the lake for a few hours and just forget about everything in between. Sunday's normally equate to me finishing my weekend chores, making sure lunches are prepped, supper is ready and then playtime with the little monkey. 

We hit the lake and had a blast. I am a true country girl at heart. Being out on the lake with my hair whipping in my face, tears came to my eyes. I was enjoying this moment more then I would admit. It brought me back to childhood, when responsibilities were minimal, worries were small and life was easy. Why do we forget to find these moments and run with them? Why do we forget to enjoy each small moment? I truly need to make this a bigger focus in my life. 

When we came home from fishing, we played hop scotch in the driveway and went swimming in the neighbours pool. I feel like I enjoyed those moments. Truly enjoyed them. Enjoyed Kaylee laughing. Playing. Being a 3 1/2 year old. That's a pretty beautiful thing....

So, needless to say. I did not finish my Sunday chores. My floors are dirty... Like dog hair and grass from the mowed lawn dirty... Also known as make Jaymie want to rip her hair out dirty. BUT. I let it go. I said, "it can wait until tomorrow, because today I am enjoying right now". And you know what.... I did. 

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

My 25 minutes a day...

4pm rolls along... I gather my belongings at work, head out to my car. Weather permitting, roll down all my windows and sunroof. I crank the radio and pull out of the driveway.
There is traffic at 4pm. There are drivers that make me wonder who let them pass their driving test at 4pm and... And there are 25 minutes until I reach my babysitters house, where I can listen to loud music and sing out loud, bounce around in my seat and bop my head. Yep... I am the one that you pass and laugh at....
Because at 4pm, I have 25 minutes to forget about work, not think about what I am going to cook for supper, or the chores that are waiting, or what kind of mood Kaylee will be in. I have 25 minutes of me time. It is fantastic!
I was driving home yesterday singing BRITTNEY SPEARS on a way back playback. Geez that made me feel old. I remember attending one of her concerts when I was 15. I was singing that song like I wrote it. I even stopped and laughed at myself at one point.
I pulled up in front of my sitter Melissa's house, turned the radio wayyyy down and that moment is over. My 25 minutes are gone and I feel lighter. That is my few minutes in a day and I love it.

Have a Toasty Tuesday Y'all!!!

Monday, July 22, 2013

Weekend Fun!

Friday evening, I was curled up in my rocking recliner, watching Hell's Kitchen. Glass of wine in hand, Kaylee finally asleep.... And it occurred to me... We should have a party tomorrow!I texted a couple people, had great feedback on the idea and Voila! A party was in the works!

I have been dying for Jordon to let me have a real fire in the backyard with our neighbour Scott's little fire bowl. He hates the idea because this is the first year the dogs have had the dog run, and not had full use of the yard and our grass looks awesome! Needless to say he succumbed to his pleading wife and agreed to a fire.
Saturday the little lady and I got up, cleaned the house, did some grocery shopping and then came home for party prep!
Party waiting to happen!
We started off making just a couple jello shooters... Like 100... And as Kaylee mixed it, she asked "Mommy is allll this jelly for me?!?!". "Umm, Mommy will make you special jelly baby, these are for all the big people"... We then pulled out the party platter and shot glasses, a little bit of booze and red solo cups. No party is ever complete without red solo cups!
Once all of that was done, Kaylee and I headed to the backyard for some much needed play time!She played in her pool, chased the dogs and we kicked the soccer ball around. I was adamant about making sure she was realllllllly tired before I proceeded to have a bunch of friends over for cocktails!
I gave Kaylee a bath, read a couple stories and she was down for the count.

Yeeeeee! A fire!!!
We had about 8-10 people who said they would come. I knew everything was done and now it was just time to have some fun. I pulled up a chair outside and waited for the company to arrive. Tick tock... Tick Tock... Suddenly I remember thinking "holy crap its 8:30.... no one is coming....". How brutal is that... The moment of panic when you think, I planned this last minute and was hoping for a little fun and now I am sitting here having a beer by myself waiting... and then having another beer and waiting.... At one point Jordon came outside and said "one hell of a party you have here Jaym" and burst out laughing. Jerk. Teehee.

Just when I thought we were going to have a party for 2, people started showing up. I lit the fire and the fun began! The amount of shooters consumed is not even fit to write down. That being said, I don't think anyone can say they did not have a good time! We laughed, and danced and stayed up way too late!

Great friends and fun!
For some strange reason, you seem to forget at the moment of music and dancing and laughing and drinking, that 6:30am when your little one walks in the room requesting breakfast, that you are getting old!

My body ached, my head ached and my stomach was angry at me. Needless to say, I gave the hubs a free pass and got up with my little monkey! She is such a happy little camper in the mornings. She ate some breakfast while watching yet another episode of Dora while I began to tackle the bomb that exploded in and outside my house. The party spent most of its hours outside around the fire, at some point I made a tray of cheese, crackers, dips, kabassa and spicy peperoni, along with some salty chips, so everyone migrated to the kitchen. At that point we herded down to the bar in the basement so we didn't wake Kaylee.
Check out these pretty ladies!
 So, the mess started outside and worked its way right through my house. Ughhhh, I hate a messy house!!!!!!! I made quick work of it though, so I could get Kaylee out for some fun!

We leashed up the pups, put on her helmet and took a little bike ride over to the park. My old feeling, hung over butt, sat on the hill while the dogs chased each other and Kaylee chased them. Burning their abundance of energy while I soaked up some vitamin D.

Kaylee beckoned for me and I went as I usually do. She wanted to walk through the "forest" also know as the small patch of trees beside the field. We headed in and Kaylee screamed. Like.... top of her lungs scream. I looked at her and saw a horse fly on her leg! I swatted it away but it was too late. I swear it took a whole hunk out of her leg. Her scream also had my boxer barrelling towards us to check on her. He licked her until she stopped crying and had to stand up and yell at him to stop. *insert huge grin here*. That little relationship is pretty special.

Freezie break!
Needless to say, our Sunday afternoon was pretty low key. Supper was early and then it was a movie in bed because Momma was wiped. Hard to believe I used to be able to stay up so late so often a few years ago. Although sleeping in used to be an option as well.

So tonight is spin class! I have to apologize to my body for kicking its ass this weekend.And not in the good ass kicking way... This morning I was craving some breakfast. Here's what was on my menu! Mmmm.

I hope everyone has a Mischievous Monday!!!
"Aren't I cute Mom? I am just waiting for a some dirt to play in... :) "

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Fire & Water.... And now a little Ice....

For those who know me well... They know I have been known to have a little bit of fire in my eyes. I am bold, stubborn (sometimes to a fault) and independent. Let's call me fire.
For those who know Jordon well, they know he too is bold, driven, stubborn and never backs down from a challenge.He shall be water. Able to put out and be just as deadly as fire.
The two of us have had moments where we have gone head to head, and I literally wondered how it would ever end. Neither of us willing to back down, or budge on what we thought was right. It is our biggest asset in our relationship while being our biggest obstacle. 

We love hard and we fight harder. We are passionate people. 

So it is only suiting that the child we have brought into this world together would be able to put out my fire, freeze his water and trump us both. I am at a loss. 

Kaylee and I for about a week have been going head to head. Trying to find a balance in parenting has been tough. Let her know she can fight some battles, that she is strong and shouldn't back down, that she can make choices. Versus, her understanding, I am still Mom and what I say goes, she still needs to listen and most importantly, throwing a huge tantrum in the middle of the soccer field during your once a week soccer "game" WILL result in Mom putting you under her arm like a football while you kick and scream and taking you straight home. That was Saturday's soccer experience. It was the first time I was embarrassed. While parents and grandparents were there to watch a bunch of crazy 3 and 4 year olds running around the field, my daughter threw a fit. It began with "I don't want to play!!! I want a snack!!! Nooooooo". Followed by flailing herself on the ground. I calmly tried to reason with her. For about 3 minutes. It sounds like such a small number, but it felt like an eternity as her spectacle continued. My last straw was when I said "Kaylee, its time to act like a big girl. Get up please. Its time to play soccer. If you are going to continue to act like a baby, we can go home and you can go to time out". She responded with defiance and anger "NOO AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!". I starred for a minute trying to process the fact that a three year old had just delivered that statement with enough attitude to take on a saucy 15 year old. I said nothing more. I picked her up and carried her off the field kicking and screaming. I was embarrassed that everyone staring must believe I am doing everything wrong to have a child act like this.
That is some serious pouting....

While this is extreme and the first time it has been so outrageously dramatic, it is becoming more regular for her to defy me. Her newest kick if you tell her something she does not want to hear is "You hurt my feelings". She doesn't say it like a sad little girl who's feelings have been hurt, instead like a mad little toddler who hasn't gotten her way. 

 I know I am a good Mom. I know I enforce discipline. I know she has limits and I do not give in. But what on earth am I doing wrong? I can't help but flash forward at what she could be like at 15. She is fearless, and funny. She is bold and brave. She is Jordon and Jaymie combined into a little bubble of fire, water and ice. I love that about her, and it too, may prove to make me crazy.

What do you do? How do you maintain a balance? Letting their personality grow and flourish while maintaining discipline and rules. 

Now, for another picture of this sweet little girl... Ha ha!

Have a Tremendously Terrific Tuesday Y'all!!!

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Throwback Thursday!

Kaylee's first day in this world and first picture with Daddy!

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Calling Myself Out....

Confession... I have sucked at the gym for 2 weeks and 2 days.... By sucked, I mean- I have not been.I can list the reasons for not going- Jordon was sick, the weather was nice for a few days, I instead weeded gardens..... But those reasons are really just excuses. So... None of that. I was lazy and I didn't get my lazy ass to the gym.
Have you every looked in the mirror at the body you call your own and think... My god I am disgusting. Its an incredibly horrible feeling. A feeling of defeat, with no one to blame by myself. I choose to take care of myself, I choose what goes into my mouth, I choose what exercise this body gets. So if this body does not look the way I want it to, no one is responsible but me.
Yesterday I was done with the pity party for one. I left work, picked up my little monkey, did a few chores and then headed to BodyPump.
It is kind of crazy how 2 weeks away from the gym can affect your body so much. Man, I struggled through that class. It whooped me! I left red in the face and feeling like my arms and legs just may fall off. I also left with a smile on my face. Proud of myself for getting back to the gym when I really felt like I didn't want to.
I went home and finished a few more chores, read the same "Hello Kitty" book to Kaylee a few times (it's the new favorite) and then sat down to watch my guilty pleasure- a recorded Bachelorette. I know, I know... Terrible...
Other then that things have been pretty quiet. I am thinking about registering Kaylee for some sort of dance class for the fall. She loves to dance and I think 3 1/2 is a good age? What do you think? I am trying to get her involved in different things, see what she likes, see what she wants to do. So far swimming was fun, however she was easily bored and soccer is awesome but for 40 minutes, not the full hour.
Anywho, check out this cutie patootie! Have a wicked Wednesday y'all!